Posted by: transcendingchaos | September 13, 2008

Houston. We have contact.

I am a neglectful, terrible caretaker, abandoning my blog that way. Sigh… it’s been two months. I’m sorry I haven’t called. Summer happened. Math happened (I finished up my last course this summer). And now I return to the land of the blogosphere, perhaps a little more humble, a little more reserved, and hopefully a little more consistent.

I’m taking–well, sitting in on–Townsend’s 465 this semester, so I’m hoping that will stimulate my economics-filled mind in ways that I deeply miss. This past week, seeing Chris go back to school, I felt a twitch, a twinge, a small clench of the stomach that said, Yes.

I am tired, yes. Particularly after writing a 50-page honours thesis while working full-time. That was my send-off. But sitting in that student-filled classroom in RNT–Cal embarassed the hell out of me when Chris and I showed up late–I felt something deeper, more fulfilling than, well, almost anything I’ve experienced of late. I can see why some people never leave the university.

And with a degree now under my belt, I’m free. I’m not bound by the necessity of getting a piece of paper that tells future employers, friends, co-workers, and family, Look! This person is a valuable member of society. And smart too! No, now I’m free to learn.

In retrospect, it is sad, to me, how the pressure to do well in school can actually hinder learning by driving us to choose “safe” paper topics and to only make comments in class that we’re sure will make us look like intelligent and diligent students. And reading–reading became a chore instead of the joy that it really is.
That is not to say that I didn’t learn much while in university–I did! More than I ever could have imagined.

But now–now I have a freedom I did not have before. And it is wonderful.

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Responses

  1. This is very much where I am. Wanting to re-open learning for the sheer joy of it. That’s what led me to university after all.

    Of course, I still have that 50-page paper while working full-time sitting in front of me.


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